Responding to our request that you guys send us your short stories, accounts of personal experiences and similar, here is the first one to be sent to us.
A very heartfelt variant of those immortal words – she thoughtfully includes the original at the end of her superb version.
I am happy to be able to report that when I asked her, cautiously, how the birth had gone, she replied in these words:
Our baby was born safely and in good health, and he is now happily enjoying school and soccer, so all my fears were relieved! And we went for round three as well, who is now four and currently setting up a “mythical creatures” play area with dragons and mermaids in our lounge room.
So, read on and enjoy – If that is the right thing to say……
A glance into the night-waking mindset of a pregnant woman, based on W. Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1, Soliloquy (enclosed).
Nicole Logan (copyright, 2012)
To pee, or not to pee? That is the question:
Is it better to put up with
The cramps and urgency of this ridiculous bladder,
Or take myself off to the bathroom,
And get some relief? To lay: to sleep;
That’s all I want; to sleep and to end
The heartburn and the thousand aches and pains
My back is enduring, if only
I could find some reprieve. To lay: to sleep;
To sleep: perhaps to dream: ooh, where’s the Dencorub?
Since in the sleep of pregnancy what dreams will come
When I have snuggled into my Miracoil?
I worry without cause: that’s half the problem
These crazy nine months seem so long to build life;
Who would want to tolerate this minefield?
The hormones gone wrong, the once proud contours,
The pangs of despised ankles, the brain’s delay,
The incontinence of bladder and the spurns
The obstetrician hurls at me,
When he Doesn’t. Have. A. Clue
How this body feels. Does he carry children?
Grunt and sweat in the middle of the night?
Gulp down the rising dread of labour?
The unknown journey of childbirth
No going back now, I’m scared out of my wits
But I just have to bear it
– no one else will deliver this baby.
Too much information! Google makes me a coward;
No longer naïve but not yet resolute
I feel sick to my stomach and pale at the thought,
This enterprise could begin any moment
But there’s no turning away,
We haven’t even picked a name yet. – ouch!
The Branxton Hicks! Oomph, or maybe contractions…
What on Earth were we thinking?
And now, the original version.
HAMLET, ACT 3, SCENE 1, SOLILOQUY
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. – Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember’d.
So, there you have it….. Very readable and easy to sympathise with her feelings – even I, as a man can do that!
So, if Nicole can send us her writings, so can you… All offerings looked at seriously.